Campaign Story

We are Andrew Mermer and Marissa Medley, aka The MerMeds! 

Our journey together began almost 6 years ago on Bumble when I recognized Andrew’s dogs and he the clinic cat that was perched on my shoulder. It turned out that Andrew was a client at the veterinary clinic where I worked as an RVT, and his two dogs Miller and Han would soon become my boys too, as they remain today.

In the years before and after I met my soulmate, I endured severe, immense pain throughout my cycles but couldn’t seem to get a doctor to take me seriously or make any sort of effort to diagnose what I knew in my heart was endometriosis. In 2023, after inability to stand upright upon waking, I rushed myself to the ER while getting sick 3 times on the way due to the pain. An ultrasound was performed, and I was told to see my OBGYN. I did so and was informed I had a 5-6cm cyst on my left ovary. This doctor offered absolutely no education and made surgery sound like a mere low-level option. She could do nothing for my pain and instructed me to come back for a recheck at a later date. One year later, I returned to the ER for a CT and ultrasound and was told yet again to see my OBGYN. Before I could do so, her clinic called to say they no longer accepted my insurance, thus I would need to find a new provider. This was the blessing in disguise that would change my life. Upon seeing that the CT revealed a 9cm mass on my ovary, my new OBGYN asked how soon could I get to surgery. He offered education, compassion, validation and was shocked by the level of neglect that I had received.

When I received this information, I was one or two weeks away from a big, life-altering trip to Indonesia that I had saved and planned for over the past year. My lifelong dream has been to travel and see the world, but I never knew how and certainly never thought those sorts of things existed for me. The time had finally come, and I was heartbroken that I may have to cancel. My doctor said it was my choice, and I decided to believe that everything would be ok. And it was…aside from forcing the other 12 people on the trip to stop for a bathroom break every hour. (Sorry Indo group – love you!). I returned from the trip with the type of gratitude that starts as a little seed in your core and expands outward until you feel it spilling out of your esophagus and fingertips. It is all encompassing and life affirming. I will remain humbled by the experience, so glad I took the risk and forever grateful for the opportunity. I returned to the US and reality and entered the operating room one week later.

Upon waking from surgery, I learned that I have Stage 4 Endometriosis that had caused adhesions and inflammation all throughout my pelvis and abdomen. In his over 30 years of experience, it was one of the worst cases my surgeon had ever seen – not exactly the distinction one strives for. An HSG could not be performed at that time, because the doctor couldn’t even find the end of one of my fallopian tubes. For fear of puncturing my colon, he opted not to continue removing lesions and only excised the cyst enveloping my ovary. He then went to war with the insurance company to approve 6 months to 1 year of Lupron injections since each vial costs over $1000. I received 8 rounds of monthly injections, and while I consider my side effects very minor, I do believe this medication has affected my memory in ways that I am still wrestling with. However, being pain free for the past 8 months has been so freeing. What a gift.

Over the past year, we have met with an infertility team and have started inching our way toward IVF. In Jan 2025, Andrew and I learned that his insurance plan covered the cost of IVF…fully. Though marriage was already in our plan and Andrew was saving for a ring, he sped up the process considerably and asked me to marry him on February 10th. Because domestic partnership approval has no timeline in our state, we couldn’t chance it and decided to get married…or at least sign paperwork to make it official. My coworkers caught wind of this and somehow threw us a whole surprise wedding in less than 24 hours! Since I work at a zoo and the ceremony was at the aquarium, our officiant wore her scuba gear as Andrew and I exchanged ring pops. The Little Mermaid soundtrack was the backdrop to all of it. 10 days after the proposal, we were married, and that ridiculous day will forever be a bright spot amongst the hardships of this season. I am eternally thankful for my amazing coworkers and parents! As we began the process of obtaining joint coverage from Andrew’s insurance, we found out that the parent company he works for would be selling his division to a private entity without giving him the option to change divisions or leave with a severance package. Cherry on top, you ask? Indeed, there was one! The new company’s insurance would not cover any aspect of infertility treatment. To say we were deflated is a severe understatement. But time is not on our side, so carry on we must. And we do.

Though we’ve received some good and some less good news pertaining to reproduction, we remain extremely hopeful and determined to try. Since we only qualify for IVF (as opposed to IUI, etc), the barrier to entry is extremely costly, especially since my profession pays less than what a manager makes at Target. We are currently in the process of applying for grants, but time is of the essence and we cannot bank on winning a lottery system, most of which have specific requirements and don’t get awarded until later in the year. Starting a fundraiser is extremely uncomfortable for us both, and it is not something we ever envisioned for ourselves. But parenthood is a journey that Andrew and I both want so badly (whatever that may look like for us), and so we are here asking you for a donation if it feels right for you.

If you’ve read this far, we are both surprised 🙂 and incredibly grateful – for your time and for your role in our lives. Whether you choose to donate or not, we are so fortunate to have you as a friend or family member and cannot wait to someday introduce you to our future little someone.

Love,
A&M